magma

2011-07-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

...And words are all I have

If you don't understand some words in a line, you don't get the meaning of the sentence.

If you do not concentrate on the words spoken, you miss the point

There are professionals drafting speeches, carefully chosing words,

And then there are the ones trying to chose words that could best describe 'I love you'

Words, having a spirit of their own, change meanings and color,

Still....words are so futile

Still....words are so few

Still...at times, words are best not spoken

2009-10-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

I looked into my eeyes...

I looked into my eeyes, there was no pain,

I looked into my eeyes and searched for honesty,

I looked around into the world and got content.

I looked for tears, but just a slight glint shone.

I looked into my eeyes for sleep and I saw dreams.

I looked for passion and a spark hit my brow,

I looked into my eeyes for love and my eeyes lowered of shame.

I looked for a scream or shout but found explanation,

I looked into my eeyes fear of these all and it stared at me without a blink

I looked & looked for excitement and fun,

Then, tired of looking into my eeyes, I looked, once more,

Tried to find, identify...myself

There was left some....

2008-10-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

Ah! The sight of the marvellous temple,

The walls with carvings delicately simple.

How fantastic is the peace it exudes,

Perhaps, a choice it is made to chose.

Careful, take those slippers off before you enter,

After all, the words of the great pandits are no useless banter.

Humbly we fall at his feet,

taking due care that our shins & knees remain neat.

And bestow faith love do we,

A return to all is what we see,

The idol worshipped and bathed in milk,

Intricately then again dressed in silk.

Sweets garlands, festivities,

Donations, sympathies, charities,

The worshipped idol but stays idle & mum,

Everyone meets him but he meets none.

Laddoos-ghee we offer him to eat.

While some of his sons

are dying from the thirst..of a single seed,

The idol sheds an invisible tear,

Ever wondered why he doesn't eat something so near,

The beauty, the peace the grandeur..all falls to a scruple,

One day, someday even i would visit a temple.

2008-02-20T22:13:00.000-08:00

Freedom being my favorite subject….. it seems to me that I am losing my own sense and sense of freedom. I don’t want to impose myself on anybody, though I do it many a times. But making myself adaptable, stopping myself from doing things or doing things because they are right is pushing me into a corner.

I am seceding into my own cocoon….. of thoughts, of inactions….where I don’t impose myself on anyone…but in turn I am killing my own freedom of not speaking out whatever I want to…now, that’s discipline and that’s what earns you a reputation. And reputation is again like chains; rules which you have set for yourself, which you chose to live by….a self made prison cell…

I am not too sure what I am writing which has been the case with me always…but it seems that change is required, a reputation is built by you, whether u chose to have it or not…
I like to think I am different and have a weird mind…but when I realize that I am no different from others, it hurts. One of my college mates used to say…."U tell him that he is normal, and he will lose it"….how true…if somebody makes u realize that u r also just part of the crowd when you think you are a class apart.

Today I came up with a theory which must’ve been mentioned elsewhere….my theory of “cling on”….

We cling on to our beliefs till our very last breath and till no argument suffices our stubbornness. Otherwise the very strong argument of you being like that only defeats all others.

I cling on to the belief that I am still a kid. I do different kind of acts to let the child within me live…even if I don’t enjoy it anymore; feeding a dead child. I am not letting it go and take the mantle of responsibility. Postponing matters won’t help. Although that doesn’t mean sitting with a long face all day long, but still it requires you to change your attitude which requires some conscious effort. Effort coz I have shunned it all these years and so the gradual process can no longer continue at its own pace. This “requirement”…this leads to freedom being lost…what a fool I am…contradicting my own self…..first feeding a dead child and now freedom lost.

Then there are others who behave as if they are ready for parent hood. Perhaps they are; strong, know the ways and walks of life and talk as if they have seen how the world behaves. And now that their beliefs have been set no one can dislodge them. Then, people like me have to emulate their “maturity”. They cling on to their mature state and wouldn’t shake hands with a Santa Claus on Christmas as it is too childish…….cling on, cling on to what you think is right…..

I wonder how many self doubting fools are there in the world…..and then are they the fools who don’t doubt themselves.

I set out to write something else and have written something altogether different.

Let my messes be released on a sheet of paper rather than in irrelevant talks.

2007-11-18T23:20:00.000-08:00

Definitions…explanations…cause-effect…

Everything in science seems to revolve around such words. Living/Non – Living………a concept which has enticed me since childhood….living things grow, non livings don’t and a host of other differentiating factors. We are alone in this universe, we haven’t found any “living” organism till date outside earth…

Now, what is living? We base living only to the extent of our definition or what we understand of living……do we have any idea of life which could survive without breathing…mmm….life which will not suit our definition of life but still be….. Living. We all know about a virus being an exception but let’s not get there, everybody knows about it ;)

We have our own space-time in which we define life….though in our Hindu mythology one life term just goes in a blink of an eye……hence I say, that our definition of life surely has an undercurrent or you may call it, a condition, of time involved……nobody agrees….good.

Take our Planet Earth as an example. It is the only living planet; and why? Simple, because “Living“ creatures inhabit the planet. Now, Picture this…..is Earth a living entity by itself…….imagine none of the living creatures inhabiting it……is it still “Living”.........??

My answer is in two parts: Layer one of my understanding says yes….. the sea is in motion, volcanoes are erupting, the ocean currents are the same…..one may argue that it is because of the rotation of the Earth that the sea is in motion….BANG ON……exactly…..here comes cause-effect…..we have found a cause for an act…... so what….imagine rotation as being the food for earth….will a child, or any organism grow without food….similarly Earth’s rotation is its food…

And the second part of understanding brings me to the space-time domain. We had an ice age; initially they say there was only one solid mass of land called pangea and then it broke up into segments we now call continents; cause being the movement of tectonic plates…..why the hell do these tectonic plates need to move…why are the Himalayas young fold and growing…… If I think myself as an observer from heaven I would see the earth as an independent living entity…

We all know about the supernova…stars becoming black holes……eventually the whole solar system collapsing…….that is Death of the planet….just if you see, it is living but we can’t observe it in our space-time definition of the living. We explain everything and pose that we have understood it all…

2007-10-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

God is my...???

First of all to anyone reading this...I am a believer...with my faith not under scrutiny I’ll go on...

What relationship do we hold with GOD? Is HE my friend? Is HE our Father? Is HE a king whose decisions and whims cannot be questioned and we the subjects; And is HE a king who likes to play dice? Is HE the giver, doer and all that can be, and if this is the case the question is again what relationship do we hold with HIM?

There are beliefs and rituals. Rituals seemingly consolidate our beliefs. Don't eat this, do that, don't do that, do this in a particular way and so on....agreed, this is tradition, but what about our relationship with GOD....does he want us to do all that..

My Dad says that no one can understand HIM completely. The analogy he gives is; imagine your mind like a matchstick and GOD of the size of earth and beyond. Even if you try it is not possible to measure the whole earth with the help of a matchstick. QED.

Now with this matchstick size brain of mine, I question whether GOD really wants us to do things that tradition asks us to...HE (if HE is) would not be someone who wants the whole humanity to sing praises of HIM, and if the person who doesn't would face the wrath of GOD...no ways...Would our father do that? Would our mother...our friend do that....? Yes, the head of anarchy could well do that. The king.

I questioned myself sometime ago....we sing bhajans, all praises of the Lord. I thought why do we do that? Then came the answer from the most uncharacteristic of places and yet the most obvious one for me. Cricket. When we talk of Sachin Tendulkar, what do we talk....great batsman, won us matches, his poise, his abilities and few standout moments....now, when we talk of GOD......GOD ok....what else will the matchstick be able to conjure up? Just what we believe HE has done and sing praises...it's not that HE wants us to do that but the thing is that we can do nothing else...

What we Hindus believe are GOD's words are what are there in the Gita.... HE gave the supreme philosophy of KARMA......DO...for me that is what GOD wants us to do...whatever else we do is for our own pleasure or to keep ourselves in company with GOD....no one can make me believe that an atheist would be punished by GOD just by virtue of being an atheist. He might be DOING a world of good to so many people and adding to his punya. This makes us believe that GOD could be a CEO ;)..He just wants KARMA and HE,like a doting CEO keeps track of all our activities.As I write this another thing that strikes me is that an atheist avoids the privilege of reading pious texts which in turn might push him towards feeding him tamo-guna.

Now, back to the question of rituals and ceremonies....should they be abandoned altogether?? Well, that is not for me to answer. As we have our own set of beliefs which our convenient to us, that is what we like to follow.

I always wanted to question one thing...we do a satyanarayna katha at home......the crux of all the lilavati-kalavati tales as is portrayed is that if you don't pray to GOD bad things would happen...GOD would punish you for not praising HIM......now doesn't that sound absurd? The way I would put it (and what would seem very obvious to some people with nobler thoughts) is that, in all these tell-tales, the characters betrayed...they betrayed themselves and once their motive was accomplished they forgot what they had committed. How would it feel if a fellow human being would do that to you? So, it is not GOD who wants to be praised....it is a lesson of honesty, of integrity.....it is completely in accordance with one's KARMA....So, it is not out of fear that we should be praising HIM but out of love.

The very obvious point where I started was our relationship with GOD.....there should be no fear that what will happen if I don't do this or don't do that as long as your intent is honest, and that one cannot hide from oneself. Again, as a Son would not abuse in front of his father, though both know that he can...he still maintains certain decency, certain respect... that needs to be maintained which is again what I said earlier, according to our convenience :)

I am again questioning rituals. Even Lord Krishna did....he asked maa Yashodha, "Why do we pray Indra? Why don't we pray Goverdhana who gives all we need?" he was Lord and could manage, we are told to shut our mouths :-.

People fast endlessly for one cause or the other. My Mom does. Now where would I put this in the modern context? Something I don't speak about? something I can't question? something that needs to be done as it is being done for centuries now? or something that is a superstition or idiosyncrancy of mind?

In one of my earlier articles I had mentioned that we are all Abhimanyu and can't live or die on behalf of someone else. But at the same time, good wishes and blessings do come in handy. Navratras, janmashtami, ramazan or any other festival for that matter...I donno why but fasting seems to form an essential part. Fasting for husband's long age, husband is a drunkard....means what is the sense.....and here comes an argument which no one can defeat......"Main manti hoon, issliye"...it's my belief....ok ok....what can be said about your beliefs; everyone has a right to opinion and practice it too. That's why I said, we are told to shut our mouths.

I say this, and I believe quite coherently, why fasting is done? Husband's long age( an example).....otherwise....he won't have a long age......who keeps account...GOD...that means you are GOD fearing....and what about the punya that that poor guy has accumulated.....that go zilch....his long life depends on whether or not his wife has observed the sacred Karvachauth.

Cotradictions?? Or no.....all in the grey area.....I fail to make a point again. As far as I am concerned,I argue with GOD like a friend, listen to HIM like a son and am even scared of HIM at times...but he assures me in all my discussions with HIM.....it's your KARMA son that stays...

2007-08-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

SHADOWS....our real self!!?

What is our personality? We have different personalities in front of different people. Why is it not consistent; '...kahan kisi ke liye hai mumkin, sab ke liye ek saa hona....'

Imagine all the important people around you as sources of light. This light source when it falls on you will cast a shadow. This shadow is what you see when you are with that person....it is your own shadow, not somebody else's , it's real and yet, not the complete truth.

Your shadow looms bigger when you are with some people and tiny when you are with others. I said to someone very close to me, that I feel very big when you are with me...you make me feel big. Analogically, it's the shadow which gets bigger in her presence.

Laughably, it's the shadow that you see, what others see and we tend to fall in love with our own image(shadow). Even when we know, that whatever we are is because of the source, the light....otherwise there would have been no looming shadow which would make us feel proud.

And when there are multiple light sources there will be multiple shadows...most of them unequal. And so we do not have the same image in everybody's minds, everybody does not hold the same opinion about us. And how tough would it be not to look at the shadows, but your true self...and how would you do that if there is no light...and when there is light, there is the shadow...bigger than you..

Arguments galore, doesn't the light see you, the real you? Well if I say Yes, which is logically correct, then my idea falls apart and I have no intention of letting that happen ;). As they say or I say, logic might as well kill romance and make poetry by numbers.

2007-06-15T03:23:00.000-07:00

We enjoy music so much more when our eyes are closed. Sometimes, it is so much more pleasure to listen to a song when we don't know or haven't seen how it has been picturised. Each of us can then transcend dimensions. We can lose the boundations of the human body and float like air, like ether........sometimes in the instruments, the thump of the drums.....the singer's mood....the lyricists perspective.....

If we have not watched the song it means, we can picturise the songs according to our will; the way our emotions perceive it.Riding on the waves of the rhythms and at times into the depths of oceans. The singer's voice itself lends a sense of purity and innocence to the song which seems to vanish once we watch the song.

All of us become a director in our own league; sometimes in the higher regions of misty mountains with oak trees hardly visible with a lush green background; sometimes u can actually feel your pulse beating to the rhythm of the song, parts which you can visualise and parts which you can just feel.....

This state of unearthliness................

2007-05-31T05:53:00.000-07:00

"Hmmm...she does have an aptitude for painting..look at this, really good". "What a dancer, simply marvelous"

We are all gifted by God, painters, singers, sports palyers, photographer.......what is the end that can be achieved out of these 'gifts' is what I used to ask myself.

If I am a good singer, should i be trying my luck in bollywood? Someone with a good sense of humour and ability to talk well might try for an RJ/VJ. why don't we go ahead and make careers out of things we like to do most? What have we done with the 'gifts' we are blessed with?

After enough soul searching and dabbling my hands here and there I understood (what most people reading would be knowing way back) that, whatever our gifts might be, they are meant to be just that.So rightly they are called hobbies.

Take this; "She dances well.." so what? She'll go study in a good school, probably get into a college and then her parents would soon be looking for a suitable groom for her. But what happens in the life meanwhile is what is meaningful...she might be recognized in the college for being a good dancer and a series of fortunate incidents might follow. It's probably the adulation and recognition that one receives in the circle of one's world.

The love....one gets...and of course we like doing it, don't we...

It's never that talent goes all the way in making what we really want to become. It's a lot of sweat and discipline that really takes us there. Seldom are we ready to sweat it out. Nowadays, though, we have TV channels selling dreams.....Indian Idol, Boogie Woogie and all. By participating in these shows one does come to know one's worth. Overestimating or underestimating oneself, both are very dangerous..

And then these are the things that make life worth living. Those stage performances, those claps, those competitions, people we meet along the way....

But even after all this reasoning, there is a sudden sadness engulfs me when I listen to these lines of the song Guru..."Aadhe adhoore khwab jo poore na ho sake, ek baar phir se neend mein wo khwab bone do....."

2007-04-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Tales of the Open road by Ruskin Bond; really...if i read Ruskin Bond I stop missing the hills; the simplicity of his writing and his belongingness to the place is what makes him so special to me. He brings the scents, the visuals, the shivers, down here to an aredent fan sitting in a bus in Bangalore, going back to home after a day at office, refreshed now.

One day I too would like to roam around like a nomad in the winding and less ventured paths of the Queen of Hills. Taking a sneek peek into the secret world of the mountains. The only

question is.....will my parents allow me to do so???

2007-04-02T05:57:00.000-07:00

"My name is Anthony Gonsalves....Gonsalves...right right".......wat a song, I feel so good. One of those films that I have watched innumerable times. It brings back to me, the innocence with which I saw the movie.

"Abhi abhi issi jagah pe, ek ladki dekhi hai......", an enjoyable song. How thoughts change; Ignorance then made me enjoy the song to the utmost, Awareness now makes me think (it's a disease at times).

I have always wanted to preserve the the childish innocence within me and that is the reason I am, what I am. I don't want to seem to be grown up. I don't propose a girl because I have not accepted the fact that I can do such a thing, that I have reached that age; I want to look upon things with the same innocence and purity.

Awareness ruined my innocence and that is the reason I shy away from doing many things. I have grown up in many areas though. I can plan, take responsibilities, gradually my opinion is seeked in household affairs; even Dad listens to me now :-)

But in there, there is a sense of loss that I have come of age. First,I used to think so and so is working there. I would form images in my mind as to how that person would be leading his life. I am leading the same life now.I donno what I am writing.

I just miss the purity and innocence. Everybody might tell me that I am still a good person after all (can't stop bragging) but that is not what I talk about, I talk about what goes on in my head. Seriously, "Ignorance is BLISS"

2007-01-25T02:36:00.000-08:00

Smell the Music!!!!!!!!

Songs, music..can they incite any sort of smell??!!What am I saying....A strange sort of a feeling; "Shab e firaaq hai ....aa re aa re", not a good song. But, suddenly memories of Infy Mysore came rushing to me...with...I don't know....what was that....alsmost as if I was in trance...as if I was there in Mysore...some strange sort of an electronic impulse originating from the centre of my forehead giving a slight tinge to my nose....made me believe that it's a smell........ufff...Not to miss the bubble from somewhere in the abdomen and that slight pierce in my eye which can at times just make you shed an involuntary tear..(nothing emotional about it, believe me)

And just as I speak about it, I will not hesitate to mention how we associate certain smells to ceratin events, certain very specific locations and people also....a particular person, at a specific location at a certain point of time....I still remember the smell of the hedges in my primary school....

2007-01-13T05:46:00.001-08:00

Day & Bad

Listening to Ghalib's ghazals the other day; "Zulm Ki raat lambi, hai dhalegi........something.."

I think this is the basic problem with all of us; we think of good & bad as day&night and for no fault of the night we equate it with bad.

What is actually laughable is good & bad as day&night means that as each night passes away and day arrives, similarly all bad will pass and good will come one day. This implies, good and bad is also governed by mother nature and one follows other, naturally.

So, we should not interfere with nature's doings and let nature take its course; whatever is happening let that happen. No efforts, " Zulm ki raat dhalegi..."the bad will end by itself;
may be in our lifetime, may be in our children's, may be in their children's. We should not interfere with nature and meanwhile marvel at its offerings. Things will happen by themselves as day follows night. Little do we think that we might be living on the south pole!!!!!!!!

Patience is for those who don't have enough power.

2006-11-24T01:04:00.000-08:00

IMMUNE SYSTEM

They say a few diseases like chicken pox happen only once in a lifetime and then our body gets immuned to it. How strong and adaptable our immune system is.One of the strongest we would agree.

I saw a photograph of a person crying over the death of his relative who died in the Baghdad attacks today. No feelings, no emotions emerged....Absolutely none...Zilch.The way he was crying, cliche! Happened in Iraq, another cliche!! It would have been the same had it been Sri Lanka, Afghanistan or ...Kashmir.This disease of getting emotional over deaths happening all over can't affect us any more. The immune system is really strong and adaptable you see.

Father rapes daughter, farmer commits suicide........anything at all?Any sign of that silly disease? News; ceratinly it is, not readable though. Naseeruddin Shah's sonfalls from a local train, definitely readable not to miss the very relevant fact that this boy is his first child from his second wife. Absolutely vital information the reporte couldn't have missed at any cost.

It is a mystery to me though, how come we all are still not immuned to the Indian Cricket team's losing streak...Hope. Sania's slip in rankings is still a cause for national worry. Stock Markets, GOSH...I almost forgot, rising sensex every day though expected is something which generates a lot of excitement, we haven't got immuned to it.

150 die in Iraq is passe.....

2006-10-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

Everytime I hear a group of boys and girls of my age group laughing and chatting, my mind goes into that usual mundane analysis mode of mine.
How everyone has defined a characteristic role for himself or herself.
You will always have the usual girl who will be laughing on whatever is being said; and the boys.........well, they are trying to hard that she continues to do so.Sometimes (or i'll say most of the times) the laughter is loud , enough for everyone around to hear, to take notice.And people of my age group; either they remember their own group or have a fleeting wish, that they could also have has such a group.
Each of us thinks that my group is the most unique of all."We don't crack those silly jokes"."And look at the way they are laughing on nothing".
What I perceive as the truth of the matter is, WE ARE ALL THE SAME.The IBM ad says, "'coz I'm not like everybody else"; but the catch is that there are thousands saying the same thing, and worse, believing in it.Yes, sociologicallly we all are different as we gain totally different experiences.But once we look at ourselves from an outside perspective, do we really find a difference in the way we are leading our lives .
Time to break the clutter. The supreme philosophy of 2006, "The only one stopping you........is you, WAKAKAKA...................................."

2006-09-26T21:25:00.001-07:00

no suitable title in my mind, I don't even know what am I going to pen down; it's just I wanted to spread my feelings on a sheet in their nascent(not so sure) form.

I've got over with my training and will be leaving soon; some will be leaving today itself.We spent so much time together and it whizzed past us; just like that.

All the talks that I had got of a thorough professional atmosphere have not come true; in the darker sense.Everybody has been very caring and all.

I see it as another chapter of my life coming to an end.First there were my scool friends, we still are, that's a different story, but really, apart from the four/five of us there is hardly anyone else left whom I can reach out to.

Then there were those inseperable goons of Pantnagar; the so called stalwarts(don't take it seriously); we could never be seperated, listening to songs standing in the balcony of our hostel had its own ethereal presence and feeling.my friend Kapoor knows very well what I am talking about.I can go on and on, we spent four years together, didn't we?A year hardly and we see ourselves leading our lives with utmost urgency and not much time left to even indulge ourselves in anything else.Life obviously has to take its course but we will be together again for a good cause and that is for sure.

Today, one of my good friend and other acquintances will be leaving the campus in a hurry.And that will be the last I see of him for some time to come.The unhesitant friendship will vanish in a matter of days and that is what is the saddest part.Majority of the gang has been posted to Pune and me to Bangalore, I always wanted that.After all those four are still very much the nucleus and apart from them I have a bankable ;-) friend of my fine in IIM.I know we are going to rock, but just a feeling of emptiness and a loss is there which cannot be escaped.

People have a tendency to console as soon as they see someone sad or even sharing a morose thought.My take is, don't ask him the reason for his sadness, or what he can do;, as some would tell me,"that's life yaar". I know and so I say that everybody has a right to feel angry or sad at times and he should be given that freedom rather asking him to make you understand the reason for his emotions and then you convincing him that there is no need for that emotion.

As the song of Avril Lavigne goes,"......and if, you could only let it be, you will see....................".I will miss you guys.

2006-08-28T05:27:00.000-07:00

Abhimanyu i.e.

Contemplation comes to those who have their stomachs full and as I have mine I would like to ogle my contemplations on this page in the form of words which are more often than not a poor tool to express feelings. But, better to have a tool than not to have any at all.

As I have always maintained, whatever I am is because of my parents and the people around me. I can always track back the roots of my thoughts and I always find out that they were never mine in the first place, they have been with me for such a long time that I feel they are mine. An Illusion.

Today I remember the day when I used to cycle for most part of the day in order to meet my daily errands of tuitions and school. I was in Xth at that time. That, although does not imply that I used to study a lot; I want to make it very clear that I attended the classes without fail. One day I had to get one passport size photograph to be clicked.

Dad, led me to a shop on his scooter while I was on my very own and faithful Hero-Impact. I was in a hurry as I had to “attend” one of my tuitions. The shopkeeper was a distant relative of ours (it always happens in our clan) so he had the right to be his talkative self. I told Dad I was in a hurry and my Dad who never enjoys anyone else speaking in his presence got an opportunity to escape. He told the man to click and get it done. He said the words “My son is more busy than I am nowadays”, which I still remember.

The truth is, I was .Today even when I am working I reflected back to that day, not with sympathy for myself but with a thought that how we keep running after life, for the rest of our life. Practically, I left home one year after XIIth when I studied (ahem...) in Lucknow for Engg. Entrance with my mother posted there as a Principal of a Central School. I would still argue to believe that I was out of home though I had the cosy comforts of my mom’s lap.

Today, 2000km away from home I am still running in order to make ends meet. I am not uncomfortable in any way but it just occurred to me, what is the difference in what I was doing back then in my Xth and now. I still have so less time for my family. I consider myself extremely lucky to have such parents, have such a close knit family .Being the youngest in a joint family has its own charm and I am not complaining even an iota. The only thing that I try to say is how we keep running after our lives. I am enjoying my life, living it;

But when I look back, I see how time has flown. My parents are growing old now and I am too busy leading my own life, chasing my own dreams. When I observe I see everyone doing the same thing and that is way of the world. I obviously don’t want to lead the rest of my life at home. It’s just the feeling of you not being able to take control of your own life. We work for ourselves and not for the work itself. Then how can our job dictate us how we lead our lives.

Today I bunked a training session; it is wrong I know. But there was this strange kind of happiness, joy that I did what I wanted to. That doesn’t mean that one should do whatever one feels like doing. It’s difficult to make anyone understand what I am trying to say. As I said earlier, words are a poor tool or I am an incompetent worksman.

My Dad said once in reference to one of my cousin elder brother when he died that he died like Abhimanyu. The whole family was out there trying to do their bit, make him comfortable in his sickness and disease but at the end it was he who had to fight and sadly he lost.

I project that thought just a bit. I think we all are like Abhimanyu fighting it out in our own Chakravyuha. No one can lead our life for us; in disease we have to suffer and recover, only we can crack a competition, only we can study for ourselves (study again) and not to miss, reap the subsequent benefits too; benefits of fame, of trust and the extreme happiness that one derives when he is satisfied with what he has done himself. We are always there in pursuit of a victory, when, perhaps victory lies in the battle itself, if it is fought in the right spirit. We just need Krishna to make things easier for us and bend the rules just a bit. Please Krishna help us to Reclaim Our Lives, the life of Abhimanyu i.e.

2006-06-10T05:34:00.000-07:00

Infosys and infoscions

just a reminder to myself as to how i felt; tremendous campus no doubt, the best part is that they have given time to make us know their vision and they accept the reality taht they are still far behind in the global race, quite commendable,

Mr. NRN is a great man,; why? No common man has the courage to tell that the name that he has kept for his company is almost an act of plagiarism, he told a motley crowd of 1000 trainees that he came up with the name of Infosys, inspired by a magazine in the US, some Infosystems Inc or something.

But, I was surprised when I heard people saying that Infy was their dream co. and so on.Come on yaar, we are the future and if our dreams end here then we will never see another NRN

enough for now

2006-04-27T03:02:00.000-07:00

yes..........

i read one of my frinds blog which enticed me to write about something he mentioned in the first para, freedom, I would like to kno wat freedom means

for me it begins with self and ends with self, some great man said, " freedom begins with the freedom to be left alone",

Analyze this, as a person whoever u are u have some responsibilities, some which u enjoy doing sime u don't ,the responsibility of your family, the job life,the same schedule of getting into the bus early in the mrning probably doing exciting stuff or boring stuff, may be or may be not facing new challenges but working for someone else, may be it satisfies you but at the end of the day u kno u have to do this or something else,

these words, Have to, should be, aisa hi hota hai and host of others are the ones which i beleive take away all my freedom

is there a freedom of thought, can u think beyond the limitations of ur mortal mind, it's at times very disturbing when u see that watever u r is a hybrid of wat u'e been made by inheritance from ur parents and influence of friends, it's very difficult to pin point and say, " yes, that's mine ", even the incompetencies of your body are pre determined 90% of the time,

I am not sounding coherent as thoghts do not come in a story form(sorry),
I saw a movie Patch Adams in which the heroine tells the hero that she wants to be free, free from the stares she had been receiving since young age as she was beautiful,.......dies and is metaphysically shown to be a butterfly

last in practical terms who is free to make a decision , the PM -na influenced by Americas of the world, then president of the united states--is he not influenced by the whole world and market trends

may be being Richard Bach with a biplane is wat iam lookin for

2006-03-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

haan to bhai,
today i saw meter down errr. i mean taxi 9211, i would love to have inputs as to how u ppl liked the movie

perhaps an overhyped movie, good performances no doub, but something was missing somewhere,

the best about the movie which would have gone unnoticed is that ppl are not good or bad but our viewpoint makes them so, shivaji satm's role was good and the characterization too

sameera reddy abruptly left john? perhaps she knew bips couldn't digest it, but was very badly treated and nana had a good role too, dheek dhak movie, but watchout for the song METER DOWN, very well used in the movie

2006-03-10T04:51:00.002-08:00

for all u ppl who want to kno wat MICA ppl look for wat happens, here's everything

these ppl ask u to fill up ur centre if choice for interview probably for recreation only, i went till ahmedabad all the way from dehra dun that too when i had filled up my centre as delhi,
let's get to the process

first there's the MICAT; a psychrometric test which u shld give honestly plus three essays and one section in which we have to identify the linking word, as one of the MICANs puts it, enjoy the test.

my topics for the essays were:

is gandhi relevent today, argue for or against
how wld u explain taj mahal to a 5 yr old
rural immigration is quite prevalent these days causing congestion and other problemsin the urban areas, wat r ur suggestions on how to solve the problem

the linking word test is where they give 4 clues on one side abd 5 options on the other, u have to link all the clues to one word, for e.g options are iron,farm,apple,earth and material and the clues are pig, ore,cast and hand ; clearly the answer is iron as iron ore,pig iron cast iron and iron man.it required some thinking .time urself properly

then comes the GE, an exercise was given on wat are the major factors influencing global peace , 9 options were given out of which we had to rank them as order of importance, first individual ranking for which they gave 5 mins and then group ranking for which we had to discuss for abt 20 mins.we had a good discussion and one sane man amongst us said that we shld better start with the least preferable parameter so that we can give the top three in quick time.voting was not allowed.

then comes the interview, the q i was asked were,

u seem to be quite interested in ads,which is your fav ad?
why?
which are your other fav ads
can u name some AD agencies
wat is stress?
r u under stress right now
why ag engg into MICA
why MICA
wat is so diff abt MICA
do u kno the spl'ations MICA offers
name them
diff betn market research and marketing research.
we r not convinced abt ur switch, convince us
why sld we take u ?
u say u r very restless , explain
u kno anyone in MICA
whow did u come to kno abt MICA
which newspaper do u read
why

I forgot other qs although there r just oneortwo left, my advise is fill up their form after taking a lot of time and get ur responses on it photostated, it will help, they want analytical ppl and beleive me, if u don't belong there don't go for the interview and find abt MICA as much as u can . remeber its pronounced as M(y)CA and not M(ee)KA as many of us do